Hibs Blog

The Tramp

Footballers are often complemented on their looks and dress sense by brown nosing members of the public and the media. This is one of the reasons they never seem to realise quite how bad they look. A common mistake is growing a shaggy beard to try the rock star look but just ending up looking like a Big Issue seller.

Paul Hartley

Olof Mellberg

Steven Pressley

Trifon Ivanov

The Goatee

Another ill-advised form of facial fungus is known as the goatee. A rich variety of goatees can be spotted throughout the football world these days, from the full goatee of Rafa Benitez to the shabby, sans-tash chin coverings of Mido and Cameronesi.

Mauro Cameronesi

Mido

Tolga Zengin

Rafael Benitez

The Musketeer

A particularly bad style of facial hair invented by Jimmy Hill in 1862, the musketeer has grown in number over the last few years. Modelled most recently by Austria’s amusingly named Christian Fuchs and Turkey’s Ayhan Akman in Euro 2008, it can also be found lurking on the face of TV pundit and ex-player Gavin Peacock.

Christian Fuchs

Gavin Peacock

Ayhan Akman

Jimmy Hill

Abel Xavier

Abel is the only player who requires an entire section of this article to himself. He’s had numerous styles of beard over the years and all of them have been utter cack.

Abel Xavier

Abel Xavier

Abel Xavier

Abel Xavier

The Hair Bear Bunch

What can I say? Some of the finest examples of beardage known to man. Like chips need salt, a bushy beard needs a complimentary ‘fro. Even on a white guy.

Billy Ashcroft

Paul Breitner

George Berry

The Wannabes

If you’re going to be called beard you should have the decency to grow one if you ask me. Three imposters…

Robbie Beard

Russell Beardsmore

Peter Beardsley

Proper Beards

Real men don’t groom their beards, they are barely aware of them. A beard should serve only one purpose and that’s the avoidance of shaving. These guys got it right.

Danny Mcgrain

Archie Gemmil

Sergio Batista

Ricky Villa

The greatest football beards of all time

Here are the top beards in world football. Longevity is key here. In each case the owner and his beard were long term partners.

Derek Hales

George Best

Steve Foster

Socrates

The worst football beards of all time

Inevitably there have been some shockers over the years, lots of fashion beards and fad beards have come and gone. David Beckham has been a regular offender here.

David Beckham

John Hartson

Alexi Lalas

This page is a work in progress and will grow as we find more worthy beards…