Breaking News: Hearts striker Christian Nade has been diagnosed with MRSA, the flesh eating disease. Doctors have given the fat bastard 40 years to live.

John Hughes walks by the touchline at the end of a game.  A fan puts out his arm and Hughes signs it.  Further on a lady lifts her top and Hughes signs her breasts.  As he nears the tunnel, a woman leaps naked onto the pitch, lies down and spreads her legs.  yogi says, “Sorry, it’s Csaba Laszlo that signs all the fannies.”

Breaking news: 2 Plane loads of volunteers from Ibrox have taken off from Prestwick Airport heading for Haiti to assist with the looting and rioting.

A container holding 250,000 Hearts tops was returned to the Scottish Executive today by the people of Haiti. Attached was a not saying “We have no homes, no food and no water but we still have our dignity.”

I loaned the Jambo next door £20 last week and haven’t seen him since….feckin’ bargain!

Csaba Laszlo and Yogi Hughes are in the pub.  Laslo buys the first drinks, Yogi gets the next round in and then Csaba goes up again, once those drinks are done, Yogi turns round to Csaba and says “Shouldn’t you fuck off now, it’s the 4th round!”

Be careful , driving conditions are awful tonight.  I just came off the road and hit a Jambo.  It took e ten minutes, two fields & a golf course but I finally got him.

What’s the differance between Christian Nade and a beach ball?

The beach ball has scored this season.

Thanks to Brainwrong for many of these.

If you enjoyed this you might want to see some of the best and worst beards in football.

I was amused to see Dundee United at 42 points but actually that’s a “D” – Avergae Score. 42 is pretty good when compared to the English Premiership teams, only 5 of whom get over 50 points and 11 of whom are technically insolvent.

So, what does it all mean? Absolutely bugger all.  More recession scaremongery and a company (Equifax) inventing a press release purely for the publicity.

EQUIFAX’S SCOTTISH PREMIER LEAGUE CREDIT RATINGS TABLE

*Motherwell Football and Athletic Club Limited is a company voluntary arrangement, so automatically given zero points and insolvency rating.

EQUIFAX’S PREMIERSHIP CREDIT RATINGS TABLE

Edit: Here are the fixture for the rest of the season: ScotPrem.com

Fantastic to see a derby at Easter Road on 2nd of January 2010.

Aberdeen v Celtic
Dundee Utd v Hearts
Hibernian v St Mirren
Kilmarnock v Hamilton
Rangers v Falkirk
St Johnstone v Motherwell

Artur Boruc in better times

Rumours aboud online and offline that Celtic’s Polish goal keeper, Artur Boruc is about to be investigated for match fixing.  If it is true (and I’m sure it’s just a horrible rumour), this would bring his recent blunders into question, especially John Rankin’s “squiggler” against him at Easter Road.

Artur Boruc has always been a controversial player.  His well publicised drinking problems, regular gesturing and reacting to opposition fans and generally being a fat waste of space have turned him from being supposedly one of Europe’s top keepers to an all round joke.  Believing he could be involved in match fixing is too easy.

Boruc was in the headlines most recently last week when he punched team mate Aiden Mcgeady in the face during training, so he’s not all bad.

That this rumour has started just before an Old Firm derby is no surprise and suggests it’s a load of bollocks.  Easy to believe bollocks but bollocks none the less.

Artur Boruc says internet drug fail rumours are rubbish in The News of the Screws.

Thanks to Tortohibby for putting this on YouTube.

Hibs players' Christmas Party

Update:The transfer window closed and both Steven Fletcher and Rob Jones remain Hibs players.  It appears that Celtic could not afford Fletch after all.

Celtic are following their usual, uninspiring pattern of stealing the best talent from the rest of the SPL by attempting to sign Hibs’ Steven Fletcher.  Both Rangers and Celtic have found it increasingly difficult to afford quality players from outside Scotland in recent years and Fletcher will be the next in a long line of players citing their “ambition” as a reason for moving West.  That his ambition is limited to choosing to remain in one of the smaller European leagues is apparently lost on Fletch.

As ususal, the Glasgow media have been happy to be the mouthpiece for the player and his agent, writing about how Fletcher hopes Hibs won’t price Celtic out of the move.  Fletcher doesn’t seem to understand the basics of football transfers – he still has years left on his contract and if Celtic can’t afford him, that’s tough luck.  Maybe he’ll just have to put his “ambition” on hold and move South to the biggest league in the world.

In the current economic climate, Hibs may have some concerns about transfer fees in future and may want to cash in on Fletcher now but that’s only thing that might work in Celtic’s favour.  As ever, Hibs’ Chairman Rod Petrie holds all the aces.  Hibs are in a solid position financially and Steven Fletcher has a long contract with the club so there is no need to sell.  There’s every chance that at 5pm on Monday 2nd February, Steven Fletcher will be a Celtic player, but it will be on Hibs’ terms.

Dean “Deano” Shiels also left this week, to further his career with English Championship strugglers Doncaster.  Dean has been a good servant for Hibs despite performances which were at times highly frustrating for the fans.  It’s difficult to say if this will be a good move for the player but it’s clear that after 5 years at Easter Road, it was time for a move to pastures new.  Swapping Edinburgh for the bright lights of Doncaster may not be an obvious choice for many but the challenge might be just what Shiels needs.

Speculation also surrounds Hibs’ captain, Rob Jones. Colchester have been making big noises but offering little cash for Jones but there are other clubs also interested.  Should Leeds or Nottingham Forrest put in a decent bid, it will be interesting to see whether Petrie can resist taking the cash.

It really makes me wonder whether there really is much of a difference between the Old Firm and the rest of the Scottish Premier League. Surely with a settled team, good manager and a bit of luck it should be possible to at least split them. I have a horrible feeling that other teams are intimidated by the Old Firm and the edge they have is as much psychological as anything else. Whilst they obviously have bigger squads and happily take their pick of the best players from other Scottish teams, they still have to play some very average / shite players, even in Europe.

Granted there is still a gulf between the Old Firm and the rest but if, say, three teams all started to take points off them regularly and at least one of those had a good run in the league who’s to say what could happen?

Financially things don’t look to good for Rangers. There could come a point where they can’t take their pick of other team’s players so easily – then their team would look very average indeed.

Leave a Comment – no signup

Edit: Unable to find any rangers players and think it’s probably just a rumour. I don’t think the rumours of it being two Scottish footballers are true either. Bob Malcolm’s name is definitely not there.

Edit 2: 930 visits from people typing things like “rangers players bnp” or “rangers bnp list” into search engines. I think it’s safe to say there was a strong rumour

No Team GB

Anyone watching Scotland beating iceland tonight would have seen a big banner for NoTeamGB.com which is a site promoting the preservation of all four home nations’ status as international football teams.

I support this 100%, if we let Team GB go ahead it’s a slippery slope to that becoming our only team.  Also, it seems so completely pointless.  So what that we won’t have a team in the Olympics?  It’s crap anyway, I can’t even remember who won this year’s Olympics and didn’t watch a single game.

Anyway, go to the site and have a look.  Here’s a quote from Tam Ferry, spokesman for No Team GB:

“What is clear from discussions with our members, the real fans of Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland do not wish to be footballs in this political stunt. As fans, we are proud of our individual teams and countries and enjoy the friendly rivalry with our close neighbours. The four British Football Associations have a privileged and unique independent status within world football as the founding fathers of the game and due to saving FIFA from bankruptcy in 1947. For many years now there has been pressure from the International Football community to merge under one team, with one FA and with single membership of FIFA and UEFA.” 

“The Olympic Football competition is a low profile Under 23 competition that no-one in this country has ever shown any interest in. Who can remember the winners? None of the fans groups want to be a part of anything which might jeopardise the future of our national teams. 

We back the SFA and FAW stance against the forming of an Olympic Football team and would ask the FA and the IFA to ignore the unwelcome political pressure and remove their backing for an Olympic Football team for the 2012 Olympic Games.”

Anyway – Hibs Blog, first with all the best exclusives!!!!