Sep 05

I’ve been sent a couple of good ones recently so here they are.  Please add yours on to the comments here.  The best ones will be added to the main page.

Breaking News: Hearts striker Christian Nade has been diagnosed with MRSA, the flesh eating disease. Doctors have given the fat bastard 40 years to live.

John Hughes walks by the touchline at the end of a game.  A fan puts out his arm and Hughes signs it.  Further on a lady lifts her top and Hughes signs her breasts.  As he nears the tunnel, a woman leaps naked onto the pitch, lies down and spreads her legs.  yogi says, “Sorry, it’s Csaba Laszlo that signs all the fannies.”

Breaking news: 2 Plane loads of volunteers from Ibrox have taken off from Prestwick Airport heading for Haiti to assist with the looting and rioting.

A container holding 250,000 Hearts tops was returned to the Scottish Executive today by the people of Haiti. Attached was a not saying “We have no homes, no food and no water but we still have our dignity.”

I loaned the Jambo next door £20 last week and haven’t seen him since….feckin’ bargain!

Csaba Laszlo and Yogi Hughes are in the pub.  Laslo buys the first drinks, Yogi gets the next round in and then Csaba goes up again, once those drinks are done, Yogi turns round to Csaba and says “Shouldn’t you fuck off now, it’s the 4th round!”

Be careful , driving conditions are awful tonight.  I just came off the road and hit a Jambo.  It took e ten minutes, two fields & a golf course but I finally got him.

What’s the differance between Christian Nade and a beach ball?

The beach ball has scored this season.

Thanks to Brainwrong for many of these.

If you enjoyed this you might want to see some of the best and worst beards in football.


7 Responses to “Football Jokes”

  1. robbie menzies Says:

    what is the differance between christain nade and a beach ball

    the beach ball has scored this season

  2. meadow boys Says:

    hope yous daftys r ready fur a pluggin mon the Toi

  3. meadow boys Says:

    hibs casuals fukin retards

  4. meadow boys Says:

    were goin tae trash yous smackheeds

  5. meadow boys Says:

    make sure yous r ready on the 9th

  6. reg domain names » Football Jokes Says:

    [...] been sent a couple of good ones recently so here they are.  Please add yours on to the comments here.  The best ones will be added to the main [...]

  7. cara hidup sehat Says:

    This is excellent post. I definitely enjoyed every little bit of it. This post is really informative too. Thanks for sharing this information. Keep it up.

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