Amadou Konte

Amadou Konte

Amadou Konte

Amadou Konte

Amadou Konte was signed for Hibs in January 2005 by then manager Tony Mowbray. He became something of a cult hit amongst fans and this tongue in cheek write-up of him appeared in the Wikipedia:

The Mali Magician

Another player brought to Easter Road during the January 2005 transfer window, Amadou (or Abadou as he is known to his closest friends) took a while to settle into Scottish football, but his debut goal for Hibernian was a vital one, snatching a late equaliser against Motherwell at Fir Park. Some say an early career in basketball with The Harlem Globetrotters led to his inability to adapt quickly to the Scottish game, but he eventually proved to be an impressive striker who made 13 appearances (3 starts) for Hibs last season and will be looking to make many more in the coming campaign.ghgghhWith his strength, power and aerial prowess, the “Mali Magician” has quickly become one of the most sought after African players of recent times. Amadou has been labelled “the new Henry Cooper” by Peter Sutcliffe and “Good” by Samuel Eto’o. Make no mistake, Amadou Konte will soon be a familiar name in respectable homes across the globe. Amadou first rose to prominence when he chipped Derek Stillie with a backheel while lollypopping with a broken leg from his own half with his eyes closed in the last minute of a 2005 league match between Dundee Utd and Hibernian. While his skills have so far gone largely unappreciated by the Hibernian support, he has a huge and loyal following among Celtic fans, who began lobbying for his transfer in November 2005.

The Konte Years

Konte first pulled off the now famous ‘blind chip’ (“The Konte”) in a football World Cup qualifier for Mali national football team against Zambia back in June of 2005, and is thought to be an early contendor for FIFA World Player of the Year in 2006. He scored a similarly great goal against Burkina Faso in March of the same year; opening the scoring with an overhead scissor kick before going on to net a hat-trick. Looking into the future, the 2010′s are tipped by many to be the “Konte Years”, so-called because for the first time one player will win the coveted FIFA world player of the year title ten years in succession. High Street bookmakers William Hill have already paid out to punters who have staked money on this achievement.

Konte’s Early Years in Mali

His early years in Africa are unclear. Among the stories have emerged from Mali about his youth tell of his unparalleled skill developing from a suprisingly early age. At two and a half years old when most of his peers were struggling to string sentences together a young Amadou was already stringing together 50 yard passes. Village folklore dictates one account from Amadous early years when he picked up the ball in his own half and kept possession for two weeks beating 3,000 villagers to submission and angering his mum who had been calling him to eat his tea for 14 nights straight. Further reports of his magical ability recall Amadou winning the All Africa record for keepie uppies while walking on water. The previous record (1) was no challenge to our hero who managed a remarkable 200 before flip flops became waterlogged. Hibs supporters will be delighted know that there is also an unsubstantiated account of Amadou feeding 5000 of his schoolmates from one fish supper! Broon sauce was also supplied. An accident in his youth set him apart from the rest of his Malian U16 internationals, when a keepy up record attempt in a chemical factory turned nasty when he went to do press ups with the ball behind his head and placed his left hand in a bucket of industrial strength bleach.

It has been noted that Hibs rivals, Hearts, have tried on many occasions to lead him away from Easter Road, but he has been quoted as saying, ‘Hibs reserves are such a quality team, I feel I would benefit more at Easter Road internationally, than going to Hearts’

The love from his Fanbase

Unsurprisingly, his name has passed into the Scots language, in the phrase “He/she made a right Konte that.” – generally used when someone is in awe of another’s effort. Also Konte’d, as a verb: to be konte’d, or “pure konte’d”.

verb – to be konte’d

Perfect Indicative Tense

I am konte’d

You were konte’d

He/She/It was konte’d

We were konte’d

You were konte’d (Plural)

They were konte’d

Perfect Passive Participle

having been konte’d

Gerundive of Obligation

it must be konte’d

Extra information on the Mali Magician

He is also noted for his trademark “double header”, which is basically the technique of taking a second touch with his head, something most soccer players can only achieve with their feet.

Amadou Konte was first made a Saint by Pope Benedict XVI in late October 2005. St Amadou hopes to score his first SPL goal of season 2005/06 very soon.

Amadou rarely gives interviews but has always felt that it was his destiny to be a star, on a recent TV show talking to Matthew Kelly he was heard to say “Tonight Matthew I would like to be Destiny’s Child”. His second appearance on the show saw him take on the role of Neighbours crooner Stefan Dennis (aka Paul Robinson), singing Stefans top ten hit “Gonna make you feel good” and boy did he make us feel good.

On a lighter note, the Mali international is also known to be a keen admirer of popular songstress Martine McCutcheon – in particular of her 2000 hit ‘On The Radio’ – and is said to have buffed her.

Konte Songs

Konte Chants:

(Tune of the Flintstones)

Konte, Konte, Konte.
He’s the magician from Ma-li.
Chipping Derek Stillie,
From 50 yards when he couldnae see.

Skinning, 3000 villagers with his feet,
Ignoring, his maw shouting him for his tea.

When you’re watching Konte
you’ll have a Ama-dama-dou time.
A dama-dou time.
You’ll have a great old time.

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(Tune of Agadoo)

Aaammmaa-dou-dou-dou, Chips the keeper for Mali!

Ama-dou-dou-dou, Makes it look so damn easy!

On his left, on his right, He jumps up and scores with ease.

He is Hibs’ superstar, but soon he will be at Chelsea!

Aaammmaa-dou-dou-dou Feeds five thousand fans for free

Aaammmaa-dou-dou-dou He fell out the ugly tree

On his left, on his right He walks on water – what a sight

He is Hibs’ superstar free broon sauce wi’ every bite.

Legendary Quotes

“Instead of bringing in more players we need to maximise the resources already at our disposal. I’d genuinely like to see Konte get a run in the team.” – Anonymous Hibs fan.

“I thought I had seen it all but that was indescribable” -Unknown Hibs fan after seeing Konte in action.

“His double headers are the best piece of technique in the modern game”- Hibs Groundsmen

“He has done so much for so many, may his good work continue and bring happiness to the football public of the world” – Harri Kampman

“I tried to sign him, he turned me down because he plys sexy football, after watching the lads last reserve game for hibs, I totally agree”- Eck

“It’s an incredible rise to stardom. At 17, you’re more likely to get a telephone call from Michael Jackson than Martine McCutcheon.” – ‘Wee’ Gordon Strachan

“I like 1 in every 10 men experience erection problems” – Pele

This page is courtesy of Wikipedia.